sorter

Quick background. I 38m have 2 siblings 1 42m and one 35trans male and three children 12f 7m and 6m. My mother and father are 65. Over the last few days my parents took my kids for a couple days so that we all could get a much needed change of pace. My daughter has often complained that her grandmother makes comments on her weight, appearance, clothes, and just about anything else having to do with looks. I have asked my mother countless times over the years not to do this. But she won’t stop.
Now both of my siblings have a lot of mental health issues and have related a lot of them to my mothers nonstop negative criticism especially based on looks. My younger sibling who happens to be trans has spoken about how when she was a kid my mother made her dye her hair or get certain treatments because it was mousey or other fashion based words I don’t understand. But regardless it created a lot issues for them. Her negativity had a lot of effects on me too I’m sure but hey it’s easier to recognize other peoples problems I guess.

Any way. They called me to ask if they could take my sons to get haircuts because “they look like the crawled out of a dumpster” and there must be shit stuck on their head they look so disgusting”. I told them if the boys did not want to cut their hair they didn’t have to. She said for. In a passive aggressive way and hung up the phone. So I texted her and said “your constant badgering of my siblings on their looks weight and fashion choices turned them into a bunch of lunatics I’d like for you to not do that to my kids”. So aside from the negative connotation towards my siblings who aren’t bad people just having some struggles I need to know if I am the asshole for saying all this.