sorter

I(29f) have this friend (35m)(let's call him G). He basically wants a woman to act as his free therapist and personal antidepressant.

​For months, he complained every single chance he got. Out of politeness, I never changed the subject. I just listened to his "terrible dates" where "every woman was crazy." However, he casually admitted he completely sabotaged himself before: he was madly in love with a girl but pretended to be in love with her sister instead, causing massive drama. He actually had to change his entire friend group because of this behavior. He’s now in therapy, but his mindset hasn't changed.

​I gave him endless advice on socializing, but he refused to self-reflect. Finally, I texted him some tough love: "You need to find happiness within yourself, it shouldn't depend on another person." I then suggested adopting a cat to help with his lonely routine.

​He got deeply offended, claimed he works 12 hours a day so he can't, and snapped: "Human love is superior, you don't know what real love is, you're just speaking from your own personal experience."

​Excuse me? I am in a happy, stable relationship. The fact that he tried to diminish my relationship and imply I'm speaking from a biased place just to reject sound advice blew my mind. He has massive double standards. He claims "all women are crazy"—we watched a TV show where a female character lost her temper because all her friends died, and he smugly said, "Typical, the one who goes crazy is a woman." Yet, he expects to find a 35yo peer who is beautiful, single, childless, and has zero romantic baggage. At 35! He wants a 20yo's clean slate with a 35yo's maturity, while offering nothing but toxicity.

​When he kept whining about his "unmet physical and emotional needs," I lost patience and told him to hire an escort for his physical needs so he wouldn't drag an innocent woman into his mess. He blew up and said, "I’d rather cut it off." That's when it clicked: he doesn't want love, he wants the ego boost of "conquering" someone and a customizable emotional trash can.

​I’ve reached my limit. I started a "slow fade," replying only after hours/days with dry, corporate language.

He also said I was mean when I said :" you wont ever know true love if you dont love a pet " adding that Pets are the One Who love us for Who we are .